i’m going to make a blog called so-unrelatable and i’m just going to go through really obscure tags reblogging things like “does anyone else hate it when you’re going antiquing and you drop your vibrator into a priceless arabesque vase and the entire table starts bumpin and you just gotta be like Oh My God These Antiques Are Haunted”
Idk my relationship with my siblings is always either “yo I’ll help you hide the body” or “do not even breathe in my direction” there is no in between.
jeez i would love to order that thing online, but i don’t know what size to order it in because women’s clothing sizes are determined by the alignments of the planets in relation to the fuck you galaxy
stop romanticizing the idea of becoming so dependent on another human being that you cannot function adequately without their presence goodbye
what if i marketed a sports drink to women called “Man tears”
watch as the ad campaign is attacked by rabid MRAs for being sexist while Dr pepper continues to sell a soda to men under the guise that it’s void of femininity therefore good.
WOW I WOULDN’T EVEN HAVE TO MAKE THE DRINK. I COULD SELL EMPTY BOTTLES AND THE TEARS WOULD COME. DRINK IT UP LADIES!
Our boy has awful taste in men.
have you ever stayed up late with someone texting or chatting and known as the hours ticked by that you’d be ridiculously tired in the morning but it didnt matter because it was really fun and totally worth losing sleep over just to laugh with someone and enjoy their company maybe and then the next day you keep tiredly recalling how much fun it was while you’re falling asleep in class and that makes it not so bad that you’re tired anymore
Hey baby you must be a salad because I have literally no desire to eat you